I do not dream that my husband is home. I am well aware, even in my sleep, that my husband is far, far away and has been for quite a while. The unfortunate part is that in my sleep, I seem to think that my husband is on his way home.
I am constantly having dreams that he'll be home tomorrow, or in a day or two. There is always a ten to fifteen second beat when I wake up after these dreams when I lay there and think wow, Andrew will be home today/tomorrow/this weekend. Then my mind catches up and I'm reminded that he isn't on his way home, but that we're not even halfway through this deployment.
Sometimes even in my dreams my subconscious seems to know what's going on and that Andrew is still far away for a long time and it tries to tell my dream-conscious what's going on, but the dream-conscious seldom seems to listen. Its hard to wake up three or four times a week and relive the same feelings I had at gate B6 at BWI on Dec 18 when I had to put Andrew on an airplane without knowing when I would see him again.
Despite these repeated sad wake ups of mine, I am happy to report that the cat remains undeterred in reaching her sleep goals.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Notes From the Homefront, Lauren #4: Do Kitties Dream of Electric Sheep?
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4 comments:
Lauren
While it is not a hard thing to do these days, you have reduced your mother to tears.
I just keep praying that the time goes by quickly and soon you will not have to dream about Andrew coming home.
Hello Hello...Oddly enough, my husband is too currently deployed to the sand "paradise" as I like to tease him...and oddly enough...our anniversary is June 16th...we were married in 2006. I just started this whole blogging thing as an attempt to add yet another thing to fill the void in my heart (never really works). My life and that of our kiddos has been put on hold. Yet, sleepless indeed, I will wait it out for him. I could not be with another man, nor would I care to even try. Best of the future for you.
Well i certainly wish i could sleep sitting up like that..
would make the 45 minute train ride into the ciry a lot more fun.
My dad use to spend 6 months at a time away laying underwater communications cables. Although he is not faced with dangerous situations I do remember the saddened wave good bye...
BUT do remember how joyous the hug hello is, and always will be.
Regards will.
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