Sadly Predictable

Wario strikes again, this time to spite Lord Stanley and his Cup.

In Honor of Graduation Season...

And in keeping with my tradition of shamelessly mining the humor of others to supplement my own original content, here is my favorite ever commencement address***--Conan O'Brien Class Day speech to Harvard's graduating class of 2000.

This was back when Conan--a Harvard man himself, of course--was at the very height of his comedic powers. The remarks start with a bang:

"I'd like to thank the Class Marshals for inviting me here today. The last time I was invited to Harvard it cost me $110,000, so you'll forgive me if I'm a bit suspicious. I'd like to announce up front that I have one goal this afternoon: to be half as funny as tomorrow's Commencement Speaker, Moral Philosopher and Economist, Amartya Sen. Must get more laughs than seminal wage/price theoretician."

Happy Sunday, everyone.

***Yes, I indeed recognize that normal people don't have "favorite ever commencement addresses." I've long since come to terms with that. Still...enjoy the speech.

Because I've been long winded lately...

My favorite animal related Onion piece of the last few years.

And my second favorite.

Bailey, incidentally, thinks that the war on string is very much alive and well...

Diary of a Cobra Recruit

My favorite ever McSweeney's piece...posted for your enjoyment, as I have nothing else I feel like posting tonight. 90% of you have probably had this foisted upon you by me at some previous point in our respective relationships, but I think it's an important piece that's worth revisiting every several months. And with the GI Joe movie coming up, and with me busy spending all my time fighting non-fictional terrorists organizations, forget about it...can you say topical?

That's what I thought. Enjoy...you can thank me later.